Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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