dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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