we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
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But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
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Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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