i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize