But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
