She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
