the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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