Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
