Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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