Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
