her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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