Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
