oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
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I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
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Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My vagina is very pro this idea
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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