Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
