yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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