Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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