Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
why do cheetos always look like penises
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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