Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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