Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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