so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the room spins SO much faster in panama
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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