Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
