It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
