Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
