You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
this will be a night to untag.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
