She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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