Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
