guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
