he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize