He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
