His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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