i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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