First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
A bitchslap is in order.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
