It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
