Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This house was built for laser tag.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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