there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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