Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
