Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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