I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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