College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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