like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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