i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
