what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
