we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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