chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
