I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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