He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
