I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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