That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
