Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
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I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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