"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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