So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
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People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
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I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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