Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You ruined the universe
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
