i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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