Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
