I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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