don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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