i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
