dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
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