I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
