Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize