Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
