There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
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It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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