I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
