wrigley field is MILF paradise
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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